All in a Chic’s Life: Love, Sex, Career & Everything Else!!!

10 Signs to Catch While Dating November 30, 2008

Filed under: Love.Relationships — thechicspot @ 6:41 pm

Have you ever heard of the phrase “catch it while you can”? Well, it applies to the dating game too.  So often we date people knowing they’re no good for us, and continue to do so anyway.  The signs are clear and evident that this person is not and will never be your soul mate.  Then there are people who just don’t know (I’m sad to say). Well, I’ve seen it happen over and over again. So here are a few signs to catch while dating someone who is going to ultimately end up being a nightmare:


10. He/she lies for no reason. 

We all tell little white lies, but to lie for the sake of doing it… thanks!


9. He/she has no sense of setting priorities.

Does he/she buy $500 outfits and the rent is overdue? If the answer is yes, I hope he/she gets a heavy coat, you’ll need it sleeping on the sidewalk.


8. He/she has more drama in their lives than soap operas.

Leave it alone. You may be lonely, but hey, at least you’ll have your peace of mind.


7. He/she just can’t let the party life go.

Have you moved on from going out Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights, but they haven’t at 30? Well, they probably never will, keep it moving.


6. He/she is “flirtatious”.

You know it kills me when people say that their spouses and/or significant others are “flirtatious”. That’s the kind of thing you do when you’re single to get someone. It defeats the purpose when you have someone. This is a clear shot down the road of infidelity, so save your gas!


5. He/she cannot stay on a job.

People, unless your significant other is getting laid off, there is no reason for someone to work “here and there” every 2 or 3 months.  Also, let’s clear up the definition of a job: A job is any type of work that you can do in front of law enforcement.  If you are not disabled, not retired, you should be on someone’s job.


4. He/she has no goals and/or working towards the ones in place.

This is easy. If he/she doesn’t want anything, they don’t want you to have anything either.  Don’t carry the dead weight.


3. He/she has too many excuses.

Not reasons, but excuses. The difference:  a reason can be overcome by taking a different path other than the initial one that kept you from reaching the goal; an excuse is being lazy.


2. He/she does not respect your opinion, does not want you to voice one, and/or gets violent.

These are control issues that will eventually lead you down a road to domestic violence.


1. He/she has no intention of marrying you (e.g. putting off the wedding over and over) and is fully satisfied with co-habiting and having children (aka “shacking”)

I know a lot of people do it, but I personally feel if I am good enough to “shack” with, I am good enough to marry. There are some women who are satisfied with it, if you are one, more power to you. By all means I’m not judging anyone, just expressing my opinion.  If he has full intention and plans (e.g. saving money) are in motion, this sign isn’t for you. Thanks!




What is your Sexual Personality? November 19, 2008

Filed under: Sex — thechicspot @ 5:39 pm

Being sexually in tune with yourself can almost guarantee a good sex life. For some women, doing certain things may seem uncomfortable and out of character for them. Having confidence is the key! I found this fun quiz online. TAKE IT HERE


Focusing In

Filed under: My Single Girl Soapbox — thechicspot @ 4:06 am

black20womanBeing single has given me a lot of time to think about things other than men.  At 25 (26 on New Years), I am focusing on my career as well.  One thing I hate about being in my mid 20s is trying to be financially set.  The fact of the matter is what you do now will affect the rest of your life.  I just finished my Master’s and now it’s like, “what’s next”?  Living in SC, opportunities are scarce, so each day there are a thousand questions roaming through my mind. Where do I move? Should I stay here and stick it out?  What career do I really want to have?  Blah, blah, blah.  More so, at this age, you tend to put a time limit on everything.  Finish undergrad at 22, 23, go back to school, have a decent career by 25, start a business venture at 26, 27, and be married and have at least your first child by 30.  Ultimately, I’ve been leaving the answers to all my questions up to God. At the beginning of this year, I made a few resolutions: (1) to take more risks by putting all faith in Christ, (2) finish school at a decent, (3) get rid of the emotional baggage that’s been weighing me down.  I’ve accomplished all three and never felt better.  As for my timeline, I do have a decent career at 25, and a business plan for next year….we’ll see how it goes.


Sexual Health: 10 Secrets to Know November 17, 2008

Filed under: Sex — thechicspot @ 12:56 am

Check out this article explaining the secrets every woman should know about their sexual health. Good stuff!

In the past few years, self diagnosis has become an internet phenomenon. I can’t tell you the number of times women have written me tearful emails because they’ve read or heard something about gynecology they think applies to them – and it doesn’t. A lot of what you read about gynecology or about caring for your va-jay-jay is either exaggerated or “just plain wrong.”  READ THE REST

Courtesy of


Beauty Gifts Under $20

Filed under: Style.Beauty — thechicspot @ 12:31 am

It’s that time of year again, and while some of us can afford Gucci purses and Dior blouses, others have to shop on the cheap.  These beauty finds are under $20. Put together a beauty gift set for your next Christmas gift.



2009 Fall/Winter Colors November 14, 2008

Filed under: Style.Beauty — thechicspot @ 4:21 am

Lonely in the City

Filed under: My Single Girl Soapbox — thechicspot @ 12:41 am

sad-black-woman1-300x199I’ve been single for 5 months now, after a 3-year relationship. I vowed to pay attention to myself and work on the things I know have to change and mend the scars I received from that relationship before I enter another one. With the help of God, I’ve done so and still in the process. The major things I’ve changed and feel really good about it. However, I have one problem: I am lonely!!! lol. I enjoy the freedom of having no boundaries. Don’t get me wrong, I’m ready to settle down, but I’m going to take my absolute time in getting to know the next guy. In the meantime, I want to have male companionship, not sexually, just someone to hang with. The problem is in this town, the picking of men are slim. You would think that working on my website, planning my nonprofit, doing different hobbies, and working full time I would have no time. You’ll be surprise because you don’t want to keep doing the same things over and over. I don’t want to become overpower by work and trying to hide behind that. More so, I don’t want to become crazy Joan from Girlfriends…lol.