We can’t go without love. Everyone needs that sense of belonging to someone unconditionally and to give ourselves to someone. Before we go into relationships, sometimes we bring in more than we get out of it. I’m talking about baggage. Baggage from a past relationship that left an emotional scar, you have yet to heal. Have we got so caught up in pleasing ourselves that we forget there’s someone else who is affected by our emotional burdens? Ultimately, we end up losing a good thing. If you’ve ever been like me, broken up and single after a long committed relationship, and left with an emotional nightmare, you know that state of mind should never be brought into something new. In May, I decided to follow a single chic routine. I call it:
“My Single Chic’s Way of Getting Over It”
Phase I-The Virgin: I call it the virgin because you’ve been in a relationship so long, you don’t remember what’s going on anymore–the dating scence, having no boundaries, and just being single. This is a major adjustment because now you have no significant other when you were use to seeing them probably everyday. It’s like doing it everything over for the first time. This is a vulnerable time, so don’t get someone while you’re on the rebound. It will complicate things.
Phase 2-The Action Figure: You become focus on something instead of the breakup. For me, it was career and planning a nonprofit. You now figure out the flaws that have to be fix before going into another relationship. We all have flaws, but there are some that need to be gone in order to become a better you. This phase is when you start making changes by use of prayers, self-help books, friends, exercise, or whatever clears your mind and put focus on you.
Phase 3-The Preparer: You changed a good portion of your flaws. Change is a working progress, so it’s not expected to be a changed woman by this phase. You have now, though, change enough to prepare yourself for a new relationship or a better empowered you.